It's that time of year, the strain of the last year of financial crisis has taken it's toll on most of us. Have you noticed that just when work demands and stress levels are at their highest, the very things we are supposed to do like eat properly, get lots of sleep and exercise, fly out the window?

What is stress?
Stress is the activation of your "fight or flight" response which is a nervous and endocrinological response designed to put the body in survival mode, and sacrifice other aspects of our systems (like the immune system and building of neural pathways) to prioritise this performance.

What are the effects?
The health problems associated with stress have been well explored. Chronic stress disrupts nearly every system in your body. It can raise blood pressure, suppress the immune system, increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, ulcers and other colon conditions, contribute to infertility, and speed up the aging process. Long-term stress can even rewire the brain, leaving you more vulnerable to anxiety and depression. Let us not forget the impact stress has on our relationships at home and work. Stress reduces our impulse control and ability to communicate effectively.

Tip 1
You may not always be able to control how stress starts, but certainly whether you will allow it to continue, by engaging with your thoughts about stress. Such thoughts would include your own expectations about how things should be as well as your own behaviour (such as being highly self-critical, driven or a terminal pleaser) and contribute to your stress worsening.

Tip 2
The key is not positive thinking as much as refined thinking. Stress does not really exist independent of your own thoughts. Our minds actively help create what we then may experience as stressful. It is usually the lumping of all kinds of unrelated issues together which affects our emotional state negatively and leaves us spinning out of control. The key therefore is to unbundle the issues one-by-one, ring-fence them and calmly consider (and if possible solve) each of these. This requires writing them all down which helps to make sense of them, why they exist as stressors and getting control back. For those issues you cannot solve, the challenge will be for you to change. Life coaching can also assist in refining your thinking and assist you in this process.

Tip 3
Stress has a handle on you when you react, you have a handle on stress when you think. There used to be a bumper sticker that read: "Stress is when the mind has to override the body's desire to hit the living s**t out of someone". In order to override stress, it is critical to identify and understand your triggers. It is very likely that the same events (or rather how you think about them), trigger you and that something in your own behaviour contributes to the stress. Start a diary and record your triggers as well as how you react in specific situations. A pattern is likely to emerge. Remember, not reacting is also behaviour, but the consequences for you (and if others are on the receiving end), will be less stressful and damaging for your/their health.

Tip 4
When you are feeling stress, dis-engage. Dont fall for the fallacy that, "I thrive under stress". Many people push themselves harder and harder despite diminishing returns. Whilst it is true that so-called 'eustress' is beneficial, there exists a cut-off point where performance actually drops (often below your initial starting point/baseline), as stress continues to increase. When you experience tiredness; irritability; the inability to solve problems; and the need to try harder with little effect, simply disengage. This means completely stopping what you are busy with and doing something completely different in another space. Often menial tasks (like washing the dishes or watering the lawn when you are home) will evoke a state of relaxation and wellbeing which is often accompanied by a sudden burst of energy, poise and new perspective which will serve you well when re-engaging with the stressful tasks.

Tip 5
De-clutter and simplify your life. Visualise your life as a drawing/picture which includes everything you do on a daily/weekly basis. (It may actually be a good idea to draw a typical day/week, from the school run; being at the office; shopping; taking the kids to extra murals; etc.) Next, look at the things that are unnecessary or over-emphasised, and only add to your stress, tension and burgeoning resentfulness. "Rub" these out and welcome a new, more effervescent and authentic you. This may take real guts and resolve; you may have to question some lifelong beliefs driving these activities and go against the grain. Also, you may have to communicate effectively with those impacted. By empowering yourself, you are also empowering them. Remember what Einstein said (paraphrased), "doing the same stuff and expecting different results is insane". Good tips on how to do this lie in the movies "Pleasantville" and "Shirley Valentine".

by Dr Kay Brugge (D.Phil), our Life-Strategist)