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Enhancing Flexibility

Flexibility is the ability to adjust your emotions, thoughts and behavior to changing situations and conditions.  Flexible people can change their minds when evidence suggests that they are mistaken.  They are open and tolerant of different ideas, ways and practices.  Individuals who lack this capacity tend to be rigid and obstinate.  Flexible people on the other hand have the capacity to smoothly handle multiple demands, shifting priorities and rapid change, which is important in today’s business environment as it allows you to take advantage of new information as it arises, adapt to change and respond to shifts in priorities.   In this module we will examine through a process of self-assessment your level of inflexibility and provide you with self-assignments to ensure behavioural change.

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Widen your emotional vocabulary

The more precisely you can name what you’re feeling, the more choice you have in how to respond. “Frustrated” might actually be disappointment, impatience, or feeling unheard — each calls for a different response. A richer vocabulary breaks the automatic feeling-equals-reaction link.

Build the pause between trigger and response

Flexibility lives in that gap. Even three seconds of breath before reacting interrupts the autopilot pattern and opens space for choice. Over time this becomes a felt habit rather than something you have to remember to do.

Match your response to the context, not just the feeling

The same emotion (say, irritation) might warrant directness with a peer, patience with a junior team member, and silence in a board meeting. Flexibility means asking “what does this moment need from me?” rather than “what do I feel like doing?”

Update your "rules" regularly

Many people carry old emotional rules (“I must never show anger,” “I should always stay positive”). These rules made sense once but often calcify. Periodically ask: is this rule still serving me, or is it just familiar?

Practice perspective-shifting deliberately

Ask yourself: “How would I read this situation if I were calm? If I were the other person? In a week’s time?” This isn’t suppressing the emotion — it’s holding more than one frame at once, which is the essence of flexibility.

Separate the emotion from the identity

“I feel anxious” is flexible; “I am an anxious person” is rigid. The first allows the feeling to move through; the second fuses you to it. Language matters here more than people expect.

Tolerate emotional discomfort without rushing to fix it

Rigid emotional patterns often come from an urge to immediately resolve discomfort — fight, flee, fix, or numb. Flexibility means being able to sit with an uncomfortable feeling long enough to choose a response rather than default to relief-seeking.

Practice in low-stakes moments

Flexibility is a trained skill, not an insight. Small daily moments — a delayed reply, an irritating comment, a minor disappointment — are the gym for this muscle. Waiting for the big moments to practice is like trying to learn to swim during a storm.

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